Tuesday, May 27, 2014

A Little Dream with a Big Message

For some reason I don't remember my dreams all that often. It seems like when my alarm beeps sharply at 6am, all dreams leave my subconscious. But on the weekends when I'm allowed to wake up when my body clock says it's time to, I tend to be able to recall what I was dreaming about. I wonder why that is? 

This morning I woke up smiling and my heart was full and happy. I had a short little dream, and it was about Down syndrome. I don't tend to dream about Down syndrome really but today was different. My dream was about pregnancy and babies with Down syndrome. I woke up with the words "inclusion in the womb" in my head. In my dream, I lived in a whole new world, where parents who were finding out about Down syndrome are not gutted and devastated. Where doctors weren't pushing termination as a first choice. Where these babies were celebrated, wanted, and loved. Parents who received the diagnosis were genuinely OK, and were excited to welcome their unborn child.

I am part of a private group on Facebook for women who are pregnant with a baby with Trisomy 21. Most of them are going through all the same emotions I did when we received the news. They are worried for their future, as well as the future of their baby. They are worried for their other children's future, how will it affect them? What about potential health issues? Will their child do OK in school and be included? Will they go to college, or get married? Their pregnancy is not what they dreamed of and each mother is grieving in her own way.

What I also get to witness is the fear that crumbles when these mothers meet their children and gaze into their eyes for the first time. The love that binds these mothers to their children is undeniable and powerful. They look back and wonder "what was I so afraid of?" Every. Single. Time. It's amazing to hear about the father's and their love for their children. The fierce protective love that these dads feel, it always overshadows any preconceived notions they had when receiving the diagnosis. And not to mention the special connection these new babies have to their siblings. It is something quite magical and I get to see it daily with Ellie and her big brothers.

Who knows what the future holds, I just know that I wish with all of my heart that this dream could become a reality someday. I've had a few prophetic dreams- I dreamt of my pregnancy with Ellie as well as her diagnosis. I can't help but hope that this dream can someday become a reality too. I'm not saying I'm psychic by any means (haha), but I am already seeing a shift in perceptions. It's a slow process but it's happening. Maybe someday it'll be true, and I hope I am here to witness it when it does.

I have to end every post with a song and this one has been on my mind lately, it's a good one.

A Change is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke