"By This Time Next Year"

If you are reading this I have to warn you, I take a lot of pictures.  Too many, really.  So this blog is going to be filled to the rim with picture after picture.  My hope is to some day print this blog for Ellie so she can see what her life was like when she was little. I figure even if no one reads this, it'll at least serve as the most bad a%$ baby book ever! 

Did you know there is a site that prints blogs into book form?  I didn't until just recently! It's called Blurb.  I actually used this company 6 years ago to make a book for my mom and the quality is amazing. Interestingly enough, you can still preview the book.. as I discovered one day while I was bored and googling family member's names for fun! :-P

Just about four months ago it was Christmas.  Our hearts were full with anticipation over the upcoming birth of our last baby.  The excitement I felt was overwhelming, what will she look like? Will she have blonde hair or brown hair? I wonder if her eyes will be blue like mine, or if she will have beautiful green eyes like her big brother Will.  Maybe they will change into a stunning deep brown like her brother Luke's.  Or perhaps she will have hazel eyes with that special twinkle just like her daddy's. 

At every holiday I would always say to our family... "just think, by this time next year our little girl will be doing (name any milestone here)" And I remember how often I would say "by next Christmas I bet she's close to walking!" 

My Christmas Ellie Belly

Little did I know 4 months ago what was to come.  It was only 10 days after Christmas that our world was rocked with Ellie's birth.  OK, so she won't be walking by Christmas. That's alright. My mom bought her an adorable 0-3 month size dress for Easter before she was born and I said "there's no way she will fit into that size at 3 months old!" Jesse and I make big babies. Both of the boys were already squeezing into 6 month size at that age. Well the dress fit her perfectly and Ellie looked beautiful in it. So she's smaller than her bros were, that's alright too.

Ellie and I on Easter

It's funny how much emphasis we put on milestones without even realizing it. Speaking of milestones, she is still working her little bootie off to gain that head control.  She has bi-monthly physical therapy now.  She also still likes to get into her signature pretzel position that freaks everyone out (see the latest pic below!)

Ellie is sound asleep- I know, it's crazy!

I say she'll be an acrobat some day. ;-)  And she will hold her head up soon, it's just going to take her a little longer. That's alright!  Her PT evaluator reassured me that "she WILL do all of these things, crawling, walking, etc.. it just takes longer."  She has worked with kids with DS for 25 years and has not had one patient unable to do these things. This made me feel better about it.

Look at that head control! Proud of our girl.

To be honest I feel like I'm anticipating each milestone with a little bit of worry.. "will she ever do it?"  Jesse finally said "honey, BE PATIENT, sheesh!" because I keep worrying and waiting... especially for her smile. At her 2 month check-up with our home health nurse she was writing down everything Ellie WASN'T doing.  It was hard to hear.. "oh she's NOT smiling yet?"  Nope, but you know what? She is now! She smiles all the time. And sometimes her eyes go into a half moon shape and she smiles just with her eyes. It melts our hearts every time.  And daddy seems to get her to smile the most.  She has an amazing little grin. 

Cheese!!

Oh and she knows how to wave too! Check out the video here: Ellie Waving to Daddy

OK, OK.. I know babies don't wave until 6 or 7 months, it just happened that she had some arm movements that looked like she was waving and I caught it on video!! Ha!

Here are some photos from some of Ellie's firsts this month. Her first big family holiday, Easter, where she was snuggled the entire time.  We also went on her first beach trip to celebrate Grammee's birthday.  Where, surprise, surprise, she was snuggled the entire time as well.  This girl gets lots of lovin' everywhere she goes. 

And by this time next year, Ellie will still be melting hearts like a champ. I'm trying to throw my milestone expectations out the window and enjoy every moment with this amazing little girl.  She will be able to do everything, but it'll be on Ellie time.  And that's ALRIGHT! ;-)

End of the Line - Traveling Wilburys

Easter table setting at my amazing mama-in-laws. So pretty!

Ellie looks like a ballerina here!

Uncle Danny and Ellie

Grandma Barbara lovin'!

Sweet smiles for auntie DiDi

Getting love from her Auntie.

Easter egg hunting with the cousins!

Happy Easter!

Sweet faced baby girl at the beach

More cousin time!

Hanging with Papa 

Will being Will.

Ellie's cousin, I love this photo of her. 

Brrrr... Oregon beaches aren't very warm!

Hi mama!

My loves getting ready to go on the beach.

Luke fell in... it was a little scary... AND COLD!

Wherever Anna was.. Ellie was.

Cousin love!

Snuggle time with the birthday girl

Feeling Good Again: Ellie's Health Update

Ellie was born with a heart and neck issue, and for the past 2 months I feel like I've been holding my breath hoping she's OK. Well this past week she had an MRI and cardiologist appt, and I'm happy to report that she's doing amazing (woooo hoooooo!!)

A little bit about her neck.. While Ellie was growing inside my belly, she was laying in an awkward position, with her head touching her back (see pic below.) At the time, my OB said it could be a neurological issue, an osteo issue (like she would eventually need a helmet) or it could be nothing at all. When I googled "hyperextended neck" the first thing that came up was a baby with Down syndrome. Even my friend from work found this info online and asked me if it could be DS. I immediately brushed it off since all of my prenatal testing never suggested DS (surprise mom!!)  Jesse says she's like an owl, which is fitting since that's the theme in her room :-P

The crazy position she likes to sleep in! I had to send this to her pediatrician to show him what I was talking about.

She has a really floppy head and it's taking her longer for her to get her neck strength and to hold her head up. She had an MRI last Wednesday to look at her neck and brain stem.  Her pediatrician mentioned hydrocephalus, talk about making this mommy worry! Her MRI results are in and her neck looks FINE! We are starting physical therapy this week to help with this, what a relief.

Then today she had an appointment with the cardiologist. He's one of the best around, so I felt really confident in him from the beginning. He's the same doc who detected her issues in utero.  So today they did an ultrasound of her heart... the issue has resolved itself, the PDA closed on it's own! There is "no follow-up needed" ah, we are so grateful!!

All dressed up to go to the big city for her heart appointment.

I was feeling a little "heavy" today, trying to not worry about Ellie's heart. What if she needs surgery...? I could feel my emotions in my throat and was dreading any bad news, like I was going to lose it any second. The number of appointments she has is already overwhelming. I just hope that now that her heart and her neck are "OK" that I can focus on loving my baby. I also got this in my email today and found it quite reassuring (it's from the Secret):

"When a big change occurs in your life it forces you to change direction. Sometimes the new path may not be easy, but you can be absolutely certain that there is magnificence for you on the new path. You can be absolutely certain that the new path contains things that you could not have experienced otherwise.

When we look back at a negative event that occurred in the past, we often see how in fact it transformed our life. We see how that event directed us toward a life that we would not change for anything."

Hi guys! 

I'm by no means saying Ellie's birth is a "negative event" but her diagnosis is definitely a new path that our life is on. I feel like I can breathe a little easier knowing that her lil' ticker is working and that her neck will get better with time. ❤

Robert Earl Keen - Feeling Good Again