Dreams Really Do Come True

6 months!

I can't believe our little Ellie is already 6 months old. In all honesty, every day goes by faster than the one before it. It's crazy to me.  She's starting to give us hugs and kisses, when I first realized she was doing it intentionally it made me cry (surprise, surprise.) We have only heard her giggle twice so far, and she's sitting up pretty good (with support of course.)  She's also eating baby food like a champ.  So far her favorite is apple sauce.

Eating lunch like a big girl.

Her personality is awesome.  She is very laid back and loves to give snuggles. She smiles more and more each day. She's also been sleeping through the night since 3 weeks old. Last weekend I woke up to the sound of the lawn mower outside.  I looked over and Jesse wasn't in bed, Ellie was fast asleep next to me in her bassinet.  I got up and Luke was still asleep too.  I checked the time and it was 9:45.  What baby sleeps in until 9:45? Or even a 4 year old for that matter?  I made my way outside and Jesse and Will were out mowing.  They said they got bored waiting for us to wake up :-P She is such a fun baby and loves to sleep like her mama.

When I think back to how Jesse and I both had dreams about Ellie before she was here, I still get goose bumps.  I recently found an old email I had written to a friend.  I was discussing having two children and how Jesse and I didn't want to "risk it" by having another baby.  Here's an excerpt from that email:

"I always felt like I'd have a daughter, and my husband feels content and grateful for our two boys, he says he doesn't want to risk anything again. We actually both had dreams while I was pregnant with my youngest that we had babies with down syndrome. When they thought Luke might have it, my husbands face turned white. Later I confessed my dream to him, and he said he had the same dream! It was all too weird. When we found out Luke was OK it was such a relief.  I think that's still in the back of his mind." 

It boggles my mind that Jesse and I both had premonitions about her.  We were being prepared for her arrival without even realizing it. My mom and dad always said that our dreams represent "a fear or a desire."  When I told mom about my dream she reassured me "oh honey, it's just a fear" and she told me I needed to stop worrying about it.  Well I didn't realize it at the time, but it turned out that my dream was a desire, not a fear. I can't imagine my life without Ellie in it. I'm so grateful for her. I'm so glad our dreams came true.

I love this picture for so many reasons.  It shows off some of Ellie's "Down syndrome markers" so I thought I'd point them out: brushfield spots in her eyes, flattened nose bridge, upward slanted eyes, her single palmar crease across her hand, small low set ears... to me, it's just Ellie and I think she's beautiful. :) 

This month Ellie has her big appointment at OHSU's Down Syndrome Clinic, her 6 month well-baby visit, and an appointment with the eye doctor.  I will do a blog post to update everyone on how she's doing. I have wondered how well she can hear, see, and if her thyroid is functioning. I'm so curious to see what the panel of specialists at the DS Clinic will tell me.  It is 4 hours long, so I'm sure we will get something worthwhile from the appointment.  My fingers are crossed all goes well.

This is Ellie's old man impression.. "where's my teef, sonny?"

Here are a few more pictures of our smiley 6 month old. She had a great 4th of July with everyone. She was held the whole time and slept through the loud booms of the fireworks show. I was a slacker and didn't take any pictures of our big party this year... darn it. 

4th of July - Shooter Jennings

Ellie and her big brothers

This is one of her new smiles and it cracks me up!

Being silly for the camera! I'm addicted to my collage app on my phone (obviously)!!

Our Anti-Pinterest Redneck Party

Ellie says "lets get this ho-down started!"

Pinterest. You dirty little time sucking, unattainable idea giving, too perfect for my life, virtual pin board. I'm mad at you, Pinterest.  I have spent hours pinning all of your wonderful ideas and have yet to try anything you have shown me. You make me feel like a bad mom, horrible party thrower and lousy cook.  I just can't live up to your expectations, so you know what? I give up. I'm giving up on you.  

OK that's a little harsh. I know I won't give it up, I love that site, and the ideas within it. I'm kind of addicted to it actually. I just know that for me, at this time in my crazy life, I just can't live up to my self-inflicted Pinterest expectations.  So this year I decided to throw an anti-Pinterest Redneck party for our boys. And I have to say, it ended up pretty awesome.

Now that I'm working full time and the mama of 3 kids, I was dreading the idea of throwing our boy's joint birthday party. I have been stretched thin time-wise and can't even keep up on my laundry. The idea of cleaning and prepping and shopping was too much for me to even think about. What theme will it be? What should I do for the favors? Do we do it in the middle of the day so we don't have to serve dinner? Heck no! As I was putting together my thoughts I asked the boys what kind of party they wanted this year.  "I want to have a guys night, only boys can come, we can hang out with dad.. drink some beers" my almost 6 year old Will tells me.  He knows he's being inappropriate but will risk getting in trouble to get a laugh out of us (and it usually works.)  "Ummmm, let's see... I want a purple and pink princess party, and only girls can come" says my almost 4 year old son Luke. OK so how do we combine princesses and a dude party? This should be interesting.

Our wonderful family friend asked if we wanted her to bring her ponies to the boy's party, and that was an easy choice (awesome!) So cowboys and Indians theme?  Maybe a farm party? Hmm. Just as I was trying to decide, Jesse came home with a craigslist purchase. He was the proud new owner of a 3-wheeled early 1960's rusty old Cushman. Our neighbor saw him driving around the property and said that we just "upped the white trash factor in our neighborhood by a point".  Ponies. White trash. A dirty house. I got it! A hillbilly party!

I ran to the dollar store and picked up billy bob teeth, squirt guns, candy, and funny glasses to give out as favors. Easy and cheap just like our party ;-) Even the pack of brown paper sacks were from the dollar store. I love that place!

We pulled out our outdoor furniture from last summer and it was dirty and needed a good scrub down. As my mom was helping me wipe down chairs she said "good enough, this is a hillbilly party, remember?" Ahh, this theme is really working for me.  I barely cleaned our house and normally I'm panicked with the thought of people seeing my clutter and dirty floors. But this time it was different. I didn't have the time to worry about it, and I finally allowed myself to let it be. And it felt GOOOOD. 

I shopped the night before the party at Costco with Will in tow as Jess was busy outside doing yard clean-up.  We picked up the burgers, dogs, fixins, a packaged salad that just had to be thrown together, some frozen corn, bowl of fruit already cut up, and lots of beverages.  My mom made her amazing bootlegger beans and tater salad and my mom-in-law made her world famous cookies. Which I must say some sneaky older brothers stole on their way out the door (someone saw them feverishly stuffing snickerdoodles into gallon-sized ziplocks right before they left!) My awesome sis-in-law made the yummy cupcakes. We also had hillbilly inspired cocktails for the big kids at the party.  All in all, it was easy peasy.  In all the years of throwing parties at our house, it was the first time I ever was able to sit down and relax and talk to everyone. I would have to say it was my most favorite party yet, and was the least amount of work! I love that having three kids is in some crazy way making my life a lot easier. Is that even possible? It's interesting how life works itself out, isn't it?

So next year I am going to go with some sort of party theme that can be translated into easy again.  My mom suggested a camping theme. Tents, s'mores, camp fire, dirt... yep! Totally doing it!

And I also need to give a shout out to my family and friends who DO throw Pinterest-worthy parties. I am the proud friend, sister, daughter-in-law, and daughter who gets to be inspired by those in my life who are so amazing.  I love the creativity and fun that goes into the parties they throw, and by me being anti-Pinterest I'm in no way saying I don't like what they do. I LOVE what they do, and I often tell them they should start blogs or websites showing off their amazing ideas. I totally mean it! They are so stinking good at at it! I am so glad I have them share their party tips and they are always there to offer ways to make my parties great but in a way that works for our lifestyle. 

Lastly, I wanted to talk about Will's #1 most favorite singer in the world, Jason Aldean. He has been listening to him since he was 2 and pretty much knows every one of his songs by heart.  He's coming in September so we jumped on the chance to take Will and Luke to their first concert. It's going to be just the four of us. One of the grandmas will be watching Ellie for us that night :)  They are super excited, especially since it's a school night (what rebels!)  I have to share Will's most favorite Jason Aldean song. When we play it in our car I always look in the rear view  mirror at him, I can literally see his heart melting when it comes on. It's so cute and he knows it word for word. We sing it together at night before bed too.  And sometimes when I'm alone in my car and I hear it, it makes me squirt a tear or three.

Heaven - Jason Aldean

And below are just a bunch of photos of some of my favorite faces from the party. :-)

This is Life Changing

Jesse and I said this to each other more than once after Ellie was born. "This is life changing." We were talking about Ellie's Down syndrome. The fear of the unknowns for her and what our life was going to end up looking like. Well we were right, having Ellie is totally life changing.  But in a way we never could have dreamed. This sweet baby has changed our world for the better.  I can't even express the joy I feel about this little girl. Every person who encounters her can feel it too. She puts a spell on everyone she meets with those amazing blue eyes with sparkles of white. 

April and May have been really busy around here. I'm back at work full-time. My wonderful, caring, loving and BRAVE mother-in-law is watching the kids for us 4 days a week. We are so grateful! We also went boating for the first time, were given a baby shower for Ellie, she had her 4 month check-up and her first ever acting debut!


When we realized Ellie was "extra floppy" with her neck strength, Jesse decided we should probably sell our boat.  This was back in February. The thought of it made me really sad because this was something we love to do as a family.  It's relaxing and takes us away from the world. I told him if that's what he thought was best, then maybe we should. She probably wouldn't be able to go out for another year anyhow.  Well he never sold it, and in May the weather was perfect for a boating trip.  We decided to test it out  and see how she would do. Well she loved it. She loved the scenery, the wind in her face and the gentle bumping of the boat along the water.  I looked at Jesse and I could feel a lump forming in my throat. This was big for us.  That day on our boat signified a lot about how much our life had changed, but how it was just as I had imagined it being before Down syndrome became a daily topic of conversation. We ended up taking the boat out three times that week.

Carry On - Fun.

Ellie's 4 month appointment went awesome.  She's a long string bean! She is weighing in at 12-1/2 pounds (only 20th percentile on a typical baby chart) and 26.5" long (off the charts on both the Ds chart and the typical baby chart!)  I felt really good and proud of our girl after I left that appointment. Her doctor was so impressed with her neck strength and her growth. He said "whatever you are doing, keep doing it!" So that's what I plan on doing! I have researched (way too much) and am taking supplements that she's getting through my milk. Who knows if it's helping, but it's worth a shot!  In two months we have her big 6 month appointment at the Down syndrome clinic at OHSU.  There they will check her hearing and she'll meet with a Neurologist, Occupational therapist, Physical therapist, and Speech pathologist. It's a half day long, and I'm feeling a little anxious about it.

In April my amazing mother-in-law and sis-in-law had a beautiful tea party (baby shower) in Ellie's honor. It was so much fun and I feel so grateful to have such amazing family and friends. It was nice to catch up with everyone.  I loved watching everyone snuggle our girl.  

Dani and Julie also made a book of wishes for Ellie. It's so heartfelt and beautiful. I'm going to save this for her forever! I wanted to share a few of the entries.

From Ellie's Great Grammy

From Uncle Noel, one of Ellie's biggest fans :)

From cousin Kellen, age 7

From Ellie's amazing Grammee

From my mom, Grandma Barbara

My mom's wishes were quite long but one sentence that stood out was "A big wish that I have for you and your life is that you are as happy as you make all the people that know you". I love that. 

Grandmee and Grandma lovin!

Lastly, the Down Syndrome Network of Oregon was looking for a newborn for a video they were shooting. When I found out what the video was for I was really excited. It is going to be used for the medical community as an educational tool on how to appropriately inform parents when their baby is diagnosed with Down syndrome. Jesse and I felt this was a very important message to be a part of! Our own personal experience was not necessarily a positive one.  

Here is Ellie's acting debut, we are so proud of her! She was only 3 weeks old when it was filmed. When Luke watched it he said "mommy, you look really different!" It cracked me up. :)

I CAN

We are so grateful for how our life has changed. We keep hearing over and over how lucky Ellie is to have been born into our big crazy family and our close knit circle of friends. But I think we are the lucky ones.  Thanks for changing our life for the better sweet baby girl!

The Luckiest - Ben Folds

"By This Time Next Year"

If you are reading this I have to warn you, I take a lot of pictures.  Too many, really.  So this blog is going to be filled to the rim with picture after picture.  My hope is to some day print this blog for Ellie so she can see what her life was like when she was little. I figure even if no one reads this, it'll at least serve as the most bad a%$ baby book ever! 

Did you know there is a site that prints blogs into book form?  I didn't until just recently! It's called Blurb.  I actually used this company 6 years ago to make a book for my mom and the quality is amazing. Interestingly enough, you can still preview the book.. as I discovered one day while I was bored and googling family member's names for fun! :-P

Just about four months ago it was Christmas.  Our hearts were full with anticipation over the upcoming birth of our last baby.  The excitement I felt was overwhelming, what will she look like? Will she have blonde hair or brown hair? I wonder if her eyes will be blue like mine, or if she will have beautiful green eyes like her big brother Will.  Maybe they will change into a stunning deep brown like her brother Luke's.  Or perhaps she will have hazel eyes with that special twinkle just like her daddy's. 

At every holiday I would always say to our family... "just think, by this time next year our little girl will be doing (name any milestone here)" And I remember how often I would say "by next Christmas I bet she's close to walking!" 

My Christmas Ellie Belly

Little did I know 4 months ago what was to come.  It was only 10 days after Christmas that our world was rocked with Ellie's birth.  OK, so she won't be walking by Christmas. That's alright. My mom bought her an adorable 0-3 month size dress for Easter before she was born and I said "there's no way she will fit into that size at 3 months old!" Jesse and I make big babies. Both of the boys were already squeezing into 6 month size at that age. Well the dress fit her perfectly and Ellie looked beautiful in it. So she's smaller than her bros were, that's alright too.

Ellie and I on Easter

It's funny how much emphasis we put on milestones without even realizing it. Speaking of milestones, she is still working her little bootie off to gain that head control.  She has bi-monthly physical therapy now.  She also still likes to get into her signature pretzel position that freaks everyone out (see the latest pic below!)

Ellie is sound asleep- I know, it's crazy!

I say she'll be an acrobat some day. ;-)  And she will hold her head up soon, it's just going to take her a little longer. That's alright!  Her PT evaluator reassured me that "she WILL do all of these things, crawling, walking, etc.. it just takes longer."  She has worked with kids with DS for 25 years and has not had one patient unable to do these things. This made me feel better about it.

Look at that head control! Proud of our girl.

To be honest I feel like I'm anticipating each milestone with a little bit of worry.. "will she ever do it?"  Jesse finally said "honey, BE PATIENT, sheesh!" because I keep worrying and waiting... especially for her smile. At her 2 month check-up with our home health nurse she was writing down everything Ellie WASN'T doing.  It was hard to hear.. "oh she's NOT smiling yet?"  Nope, but you know what? She is now! She smiles all the time. And sometimes her eyes go into a half moon shape and she smiles just with her eyes. It melts our hearts every time.  And daddy seems to get her to smile the most.  She has an amazing little grin. 

Cheese!!

Oh and she knows how to wave too! Check out the video here: Ellie Waving to Daddy

OK, OK.. I know babies don't wave until 6 or 7 months, it just happened that she had some arm movements that looked like she was waving and I caught it on video!! Ha!

Here are some photos from some of Ellie's firsts this month. Her first big family holiday, Easter, where she was snuggled the entire time.  We also went on her first beach trip to celebrate Grammee's birthday.  Where, surprise, surprise, she was snuggled the entire time as well.  This girl gets lots of lovin' everywhere she goes. 

And by this time next year, Ellie will still be melting hearts like a champ. I'm trying to throw my milestone expectations out the window and enjoy every moment with this amazing little girl.  She will be able to do everything, but it'll be on Ellie time.  And that's ALRIGHT! ;-)

End of the Line - Traveling Wilburys

Easter table setting at my amazing mama-in-laws. So pretty!

Ellie looks like a ballerina here!

Uncle Danny and Ellie

Grandma Barbara lovin'!

Sweet smiles for auntie DiDi

Getting love from her Auntie.

Easter egg hunting with the cousins!

Happy Easter!

Sweet faced baby girl at the beach

More cousin time!

Hanging with Papa 

Will being Will.

Ellie's cousin, I love this photo of her. 

Brrrr... Oregon beaches aren't very warm!

Hi mama!

My loves getting ready to go on the beach.

Luke fell in... it was a little scary... AND COLD!

Wherever Anna was.. Ellie was.

Cousin love!

Snuggle time with the birthday girl